Baby turns 4 months!

How time flies indeed! It feels like only yesterday when I posted the entry on Justin turning 3 months old, yet now another month has passed and he's moving along in his very young journey of life.

Previously, I mentioned that when Baby turns 4 months, he should be able to do the following:

1. better control of head and turn to explore surrounding due to increased curiosity

2. sit up with support

3. better control of hands and bring them together

4. use hands to reach for things more accurately

5. bring feet up and play with them when lying on back

6. roll over from stomach to back

Well, it seems like he's covered most of the grounds, but needs a bit more time and practice to be able to do #2 and #6, because as of now, while he can sit (either on the couch or on somebody's lap) with his back and head entirely supported, he won't be able to make use of a bumbo baby seat just yet. Also, he hasn't rolled over from his tummy to his back, although he did try to flip a couple of times without success -- he ended up stuck in an arched position and sobbing, the poor little dude. Then it's either Daddy or Mummy to the rescue!

I do enjoy looking at the following picture of how he displays his ability to do #1 though:

It certainly wasn't easy to capture this shot, where Justin's looking so comfortably at the camera and holding his head high and steady above his cot mattress, and even managing to give a wee bit of a smile there. Very nice, I feel! I'm so proud of all his achievements so far. They might seem like nothing to an adult, but to a baby, I think they are real mean feats! Kudos to Baby Justin, and all other developing babies out there! :)

We've also been having a bit more fun with Justin as he's starting to babble even more these days. Yes, not just coo, but babble 'ber ber gu gu ma mu...'. It's so exciting hearing him mumble, or sometimes even yell, the combination of consonants and vowels! I'm really looking forward to the day when he mutters his first word.

Happy 4 months to my boy. Happy 16th to Hubby as well. :)

Days of...lemons.

You know the saying, "When life throws you lemons, just make lemonade outta 'em". Well, at certain points, life does pelt me with lemons. Very sour ones. Loads of them. But what happens when I'm not exactly armed with a juicer to deal with the yellow citrus fruit?

That's the question I'd like answered.

It sure felt like this question was plaguing me for almost the whole of this week.

I reported to work due to official involvement in certain school and departmental events over a course of a few days. Within these days and prior to these events, I've had to endure:

1. A last-minute instruction for me to go through a few pages of notes designed to explain what is to be expected for an event that involves a large group of people but which this same group of people was clueless about, simply because the one person who's organising it does not like to conduct any meeting or briefing and is always vague about her ideas even when approached about her event personally. What's up with that? I mean, if you organise something and require the presence and assistance of so many of your colleagues, isn't it just right for you to let them know beforehand what they are expected to do and the rationale for certain decisions? Why keep people guessing till the day of the event? And is it fun to send out an email over the weekend, telling your co-workers to read the attached notes on a Sunday before the event on Monday, when previously you refused to provide concrete details about the event when asked?

2. Biased decisions that promote somebody's own interest on the pretext of wanting to benefit several other groups. This involves pressurising these other groups to conform and be involved when the one who stands to gain the most is none other than that person herself.

3. Lack of respect for fellow colleagues. I never like anyone treating me or any of our colleagues as a child or student who has to be talked down to. I'm not the confrontational type, so you never have to deal with me in an intimidating manner. I am a professional at work. I am an adult. If you need something from me, speak to me like one. And don't go putting all the smiley emoticons in your SMSes when trying to resolve a work conflict when you don't actually mean them. It just goes to show how much of a moron you think I am, not understanding the sharp daggers you are throwing at me behind those pretentious smiles. Oh, and don't go demanding people to be present for events that don't actually require their contribution at all when everyone is so busy with other work commitment. It just makes people feel plain foolish sitting there and thinking of how much they could have accomplished if they were elsewhere.

4. Job confusion and power struggle. I used to know exactly what I'm in charge of, and how to go about doing my job. Even if I stumble at first, I will find my way eventually and get things done. Now, with the absence of an HOD, I'm assigned to take over part of the HOD's job, but someone else in the department likes to claim that she is the 'biggest'. Not that I've anything against that. In fact, if you wish to take over the leadership role, by all means, go for it. But don't keep saying that you make all the decisions and yet keep coming to me and telling me that I'm in charge when you need someone to clear some rather unpleasant duties. You obviously enjoy the limelight of being regarded as the head, so why point the finger at me and say I'm the one in charge at times, just because you don't want to do certain things. So now who's doing what exactly? I no longer know. But I WILL find out. I need to, or the line will always be blur.

There are several other 'lemons' that I can think of, but the above beats the rest. More days of 'lemons' will come, I know. I certainly dread the thought of bidding farewell to my days as a stay-home mum and having to be physically present at work, facing people who make the workplace a less pleasant one. I can only hope that I will be able to handle this transition well, so that I can still return home a happy wife and mother at the end of the day. An unhappy mum makes a bad mum, and can do more damage than good for her baby.

It's time to start building my juicer.

Back to work.

It's always lovely getting a warm welcome from others at your entrance. NOT the kind that's like "Oh, you're back! Great! Hey, the next semester's gonna be such a crazy one. It's already so tiring in the first semester. Next one will be far worse, I think. Anyway, glad you're finally back with us!". (Yeah, that really happened. I mean, I'm glad that my contribution to the organisation is very much valued, but HELLO, I'm still nursing the wound of having to throw myself back into the deep end of the pool, knowing that life will comprise daily crazy struggles once more, after swimming leisurely in the shallow areas for the past few months. Such a welcome just serves to remind me of the terribly rough and bumpy ride that lies in wait for me.)

Anyway, the welcome I appreciate much more is the sort that comes from people whom you know are genuine towards you, and who've missed your company at work. :) I returned a couple of days ago just to feel the ground once more, a day before I had official reasons to be there. It actually felt surprisingly good meeting my friends-cum-coworkers in the office and engaging in the kind of conversations that we were so used to before. Like I told Hubby after that, just being physically present at the workplace got me feeling more ready for work. Guess it's a natural tendency to feel that -- work is, of course, strongly associated with the physical work environment.

But how positive (or otherwise) the work environment is depends a lot on the people you work with. Take this afternoon, for example. I attended a department meeting with people whom I've always enjoyed working with -- well, most of them anyway. Maybe it's because this was the Pupil Welfare Department and most of the colleagues here have a similar temperament as mine and/or share the same beliefs and values when it comes to caring for our students. The meetings are always focused and injected with occasional jokes and laughter, particularly when it comes to mini activities that aim to release us from information and discussion overload at suitable points. If only all meetings were as non-stressful or taxing as these!

Refreshments in the form of catered assorted sandwiches and sweet treats from Delifrance were also served to the whole department as a welcome back for me by my PW boss. Yummylicious! Totally enjoyed them -- just didn't dare to go for a second helping even though I was fairly tempted to! Thanks, Charine! :)

Shall have to be back next week again for a camp. I've a feeling that the first few days of next week may not be as sweet as today though. One can only hope...

My first birthday with Baby Justin.

It's official. I've taken yet another step into the big 3-Os. Half my age earlier, when I was still a teenage girl, even the age of 20 sounded old to me. However, a decade past the time when I hit twenty, age doesn't feel such a big deal anymore. In fact, I hardly think of myself as one who's 31 now. I guess it also helps when you are working in an environment that allows you to interact with teenagers for most part of each workday. When you're surrounded by youthfulness, you can't help but feel like you're just as young. The only time when you are reminded of how old you are is when your ex-students start joining the workforce as young adults in their 20s. *gawk*

Anyway, though my age isn't exactly a big deal, this birthday is, for there is now a new family member to celebrate it with me! I think this little guy is the most wonderful birthday gift I can ever ask for. :) Of course, there are also other lovely treats and gifts to cherish.

Yummylicious premium oreomisu cake from Emicakes, thanks to Jess & Vincent.

So rich and moist!

 Lovely book that aims to inspire, from Beebee.

 Sweet personal sisterly touch added to the gift:

notes of inspirational lessons that can be gathered from various parts of the story.

Simple chocolate pudding cake bought by mummy,

the first in many years since I stopped being a kid.

Birthday mee sua soup with 2 eggs, a yearly tradition.

A pair of pearl earrings Hubby had me pick from Thomas Sabo's charm collection.

I've taken a sudden liking to pearls. A sign of feminine maturity?

I'm just thanking my lucky stars that I didn't have to report for work today, despite my maternity leave having ended. I almost thought I'd have to spend a dreary morning dragging my feet to the office with utmost unwillingness on this special birthday but, fortunately, I found out after checking that if I didn't have anything on at work, I wouldn't be expected to be there. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go shopping and dining with Hubby and baby on this day.

~ Happy birthday to me. ~

A day...at the salon.

With pregnancy comes several less than pleasant symptoms. That's a well-known fact. The same applies for post-pregnancy conditions.

Well, recently, hubby noticed more strands of my hair lying about in our bathroom. This situation didn't escape my eyes either, of course. I'd also realised that and guessed it must be post-partum related, since I hardly shed any hair throughout the course of my pregnancy.

That, coupled with the fact that this couldn't go on due to the fact that I was without good hair genes and my hair wasn't that thick to begin with, did it. It was time for a long overdue visit to the hair salon.

I decided to head over to Jantzen's at West Coast Plaza in the afternoon and just spend a couple of hours getting a haircut to lighten the weight of my hair as well as some usual protein treatment. I managed to get a scalp treatment aimed at reducing hair loss as well. It was a good two hours spent there as I got what I wanted and enjoyed the shampoo and scalp massage given by one of the girls there. Ahhh...having skipped the hair salon visits for a whole year, I'd forgotten how relaxing a thorough shampoo cum scalp massage can be. Nearly fell asleep in the chair while the girl's fingers were hard at work.

Something weird happened after the visit to the salon though. The stylist who attended to me had actually recommended a particular brand of shampoo for my hair condition. I ended up walking away without purchasing it. Strangely enough, the next day, when I was rummaging through a drawer in the bathroom, I chanced upon a smaller sample set of the exact same shampoo. I don't remember how it came to be there, and hubby was clueless when I asked him about it as well. Weird. Anyway, I've been using it since. Hubby even bought a larger bottle of it for me for $70.

We shall see if it's indeed worth the cash.

And here comes the SMURFS.

"La la la la la la... la la la la la...!" The blue people have made a good comeback!

Yes, the very famous Smurfs have recently been introduced to those belonging to the much younger generation who had absolutely no idea how huge these creatures were to people who grew up in the same era as I did. (I'm now experiencing a flashback in my mind in which Hubby looked totally delirious with joy when he located, back at his parents' place, a whole bagful of Smurfs figurines he used to collect when he was younger. A selected few can now be found hanging out at different spots of our apartment.)

Well, now they do. And I must say that some of these young people I know are now self-proclaimed Smurf fans who'd love to live in the same land as these blue dudes. Just look at how fast the Iphone covers that featured Smurfs, sold exclusively by Bossini, were snapped up.

Apart from Bossini that brought in the classic Smurfs merchandise (in fact, I'm wearing a white blouse with Smurf prints that Hubby bought for me some time ago even as I type), it's all thanks to the recent movie "The Smurfs" that the craze was able to return.

But imagine Hubby's and my surprise when we discovered that there were actually graphic novels of the Smurfs that came in a series, with a few stories packed into each book. Hubby managed to get all five of what he found at Popular Bookstore @ Jurong Point:

Nice! Though I'm not exactly in the mood to read comics just yet, I WILL eventually get down to reading these titles. I mean, it's the Smurfs, whom I grew up with. After the daddy and mummy are done reading them, we'll pass them along to Baby Justin for his reading pleasure in future! :)

Baby's diet.

I used to think that it was relatively easy to tell when my baby was hungry and needed milk. He'd repeatedly utter a classic 'heh-heh' and begin pawing at whoever was carrying him while straining his neck towards a particular part of that person's chest, guided by his infantile instinct. It sure didn't matter to baby if that person was male or female! Other than these moves, he might start sucking his fingers to relieve the hunger or, if push comes to shove and he still doesn't get his milk, he'd start bawling with whatever power he could muster from his lungs.

However, for the past few days, it was getting a little more difficult to read his cues. In fact, there were times when he'd present some of these hunger signals, only to reject or end up not finishing the milk he was given. There were also times when he'd appear to be famished, but immediately calmed down and looked as though all had been peaceful the minute he was picked up.

I know I mentioned in an early post that I'd learned not to be such a worrywart and expect things to happen the way I wished for baby. Nevertheless, it's a little tough not to become anxious when Justin had been drinking a consistently good amount of milk at fairly regular intervals for some time, but is now showing signs of being distracted when drinking milk, and perhaps even seeming to lose interest in it. I'm just wondering: Does this mean that my baby boy's finally tired of drinking the same milk for the past 14 weeks of his young life? I mean, it's easy for me to put myself in his shoes, if that's the case. I used to love the wanton mee from the stall near my parents' place and now miss it occasionally when I crave for this delight, but make me consume it for all 3 meals for 3 months and you can imagine how fast I'd run if you presented yet another plate of it to me.

Anyway, if Baby Justin is really tired of his milk, at least both of us can look forward to the next stage of his dietary development -- semi solids! Just another few weeks, my boy, and we can start you on some rice cereal with milk...yipee! That ought to whet your appetite a bit if variety's what you really want. I'm also really happy with a purchase that Hubby and I decided on recently -- a combined steamer and blender that can be used to prepare fresh soft food for Justin later on.

Pretty good, this item. According to what the promoter demonstrated to us, we'd only need to use a bit of water to steam a bunch of items. Turn the container upside down and voila! We get to use the blender function without having to transfer the items to a separate machine. This promotional item came with an adorable toddler meal set as well: 

Super cute, I thought. I know I'd just be so encouraged to eat if my plates and cutlery always came in such fun colours and designs! Hopefully Baby Justin'll feel the same way then. I'm just so keen on introducing more food textures, colours and tastes to baby when the time comes. So many opportunities for some experimenting! It'll be great educational fun for his tastebuds and other senses! :)

A day...of family outing @ Vivocity.

Yesterday was Monday. However, this Monday felt a lot more different from the past many leisurely Mondays I've enjoyed, the reason being that this was the final Monday before I'd officially have to return to work. Oh yes. The weekday mornings of stepping out of the home before 6.30am and arriving at the office before 7am to get myself geared for a hectic full day ahead. The many long meetings I'd have to endure. The inevitable act of adding ten items to my to-do list before I'd even cleared five (sometimes even one). The stress of having my day governed by bells and scheduled events and deadlines. The crazy administrative and marking load. I could go on forever. Well, anyway, most of it will begin once again come next week.

Perhaps that's why I felt the need to relieve some of that anticipated dread and stress of having to give up my current temporary role as happy stay-home mum by creating more wonderful memories of time spent with Hubby and Baby Justin this week. A solution? A family shopping trip!  The mall of choice was Vivocity. Goodness, it's been ages since Hubby and I last visited this place. Actually, we'd only expected to do a bit of light shopping, but this trip turned out to be more eventful and memorable than we'd expected.

The most significant part of the trip, I feel, was Justin's behaviour. He simply appeared ultra happy to be out there dining and shopping with us! Even before we'd left home for the mall, the little dude began smiling widely and flailing his limbs excitedly, as if he knew that Daddy and Mummy were taking him on an outing. At the mall, whenever we stopped to check on him and squatted down to see him at eye level and play a little with him, Justin would squeal with delight and let out quite a bit of baby laughter. In fact, he did the same when Hubby and I were having dinner at The Mussel Guys, Baby Justin just kept wanting to 'talk' to us, and let out his adorable (and loud!) squeals from time to time. I half-expected to get a complaining look from the diners seated near us! Nonetheless, it's exactly all the joyful squeals and giggles from baby that added extra spice to our family outing. I thoroughly enjoyed these moments! :)

 

@ The Mussel Guys: Pumpkin soup with garlic toast



                                     My pan-fried dory fish in cream sauce with fragrant rice 



Hubby's classic fish & chips

Apart from a good meal, Hubby and I also made a few purchases, one of which was totally based on a last-minute decision:





I'd never intended to purchase a new phone at all before this outing since my previous Samsung was still relatively new and working fine but, as usual, my very persuasive can-excel-as-a-sales-executive hubby popped the idea into my mind and talked me into it over our nice dinner. His selling point was that I could do better with a phone that comes with a video call function so that I could call home and interact with our baby 'face-to-face' when I'm away at work. I absolutely loved that idea! And that's how I ended up taking this home. I got this limited white edition at $198 after renewing my contract, which is $30 more expensive than the E72s of other colours, but I must say this was worth the extra bucks as the white just makes it so refreshing to use.

Goodbye, Samsung Wave. Hello, Nokia E72.

Husband and wife phone

Hubby and I have already tried video calling each other -- it was funny the way Justin kept staring at the screen while I spoke to him from another bedroom. Perhaps he was wondering what on earth his mummy was doing in that tiny screen there!

Well, this new buy certainly makes returning to work a tad more bearable. Thanks, Hubby, for the grand idea! :)

A night...of remembrance.

Last evening, an ex-schoolmate of mine confided in me a tragic experience that she's going through lately. Just a couple of days ago, she underwent surgery to remove one of her fallopian tubes. The reason was that she'd discovered that she had an ectopic pregnancy, which is an abnormal pregnancy that occurs outside the uterus. The foetus will not survive, and it could lead to serious complications that might even endanger the life of the mother if the pregnancy continued. This shocking discovery came just mere hours after learning, with much joy, that she was pregnant for the first time. She is currently recuperating at home, but finds herself breaking down uncontrollably from time to time as she thinks of her loss.

This sorrowful encounter brings to mind my own experience of having to deal with the loss of an unborn child in the first quarter of last year, just months before Justin was conceived. Hoping that I could somehow comfort my friend, I exchanged a series of messages with her through FB and shared with her this experience that not many people who know me are actually aware of. While typing to her, I felt a vague pang of grief as I recalled what had happened -- how I had carried the hope and joy of having a child, only to have fate deal me a cruel hand by taking that very child away from me so abruptly, without even giving me a chance to get to know and love him/her.

But had fate been thoroughly cruel to me? My friend, after learning about this part of my history, told me that if she could be so upset after a few hours of knowing she was pregnant, it must have been much worse for me, for I would have been so much more attached to my unborn baby than she'd been to hers. I must admit, throughout the period of ordeal, I was looking for someone to blame. If there was indeed a Heavenly Being, why didn't He protect the tiny life within me? Why did he allow its heart to stop beating, just like that? Why did he punish me by shattering my life and hurling me down to the depths of painful sorrow, when I had done nothing wrong?

However, thinking back, I must say that there are others who have gone through worse traumas than me. There are mothers who have lost their child, whether the child was five or fifteen, or even older. Just imagine how these mothers felt during their grieving period. They'd given birth to and raised their child, came to know their child, protected their child and loved their child for a much much longer time. At least, I was fortunate enough to have no vivid memory of this one that I'd lost, save for a few black and white pictures of him/her when he/she was still alive in my womb. And even though I would never meet him/her, the joy that this unborn child had brought to me in those first three months of pregnancy would not be forgotten, for it was this child that had allowed me to savour the very first taste of being a mother. And the loss of the very same child has taught me to cherish my firstborn even more, and realise how much of a miracle it is for life to occur in the womb and be presented to the world nine months later.

Last evening was truly a night of mixed emotions as I thought of all these. I felt a simultaneous sense of melancholy and bliss. I also thought of Justin and how I'd feel one day if he was robbed from me forever. It's a question that Hubby has posed to me before as well. I have no detailed reply for him; I simply know that my life would be certainly no longer be the same, and I cannot even bear to think about how I would cope with the painful memories of my sweet baby boy's adorable expressions and behaviour, as well as the times we have spent together, bonding as mother and child. Even just imagining this now hurts. It's just like imagining that something has happened to Hubby, and that he wouldn't be coming home anymore. It would be too painful. Just too much to handle.

I sincerely hope my friend would be able to manage her loss and recover emotionally. It's good that she has a supportive husband as well and would be going away in June for a holiday elsewhere. This would allow her the much-needed change of environment to help release her mind from the sad experience.

I wish her all the best, and I hope her desire of having a baby would be fulfilled in time to come, just as how I'd been blessed with Justin.

A day...of coos and smiles.

My dad has always been kind of an introvert, the usually subdued figure in the household. That is, unless you hit his talking nerve with a topic of his interest. When that happens, he can probably go on and on about it if you'd let him. I remember that once, hubby was asking him about some historical fact about Singapore (something to do with names, I think), and my dad surprised me by sharing with hubby loads of facts and anecdotes he'd come across before.

Last Sunday saw my dad being chatty in a similar fashion, though the language used this time was vastly different from the English or Mandarin that we understand. The person who managed to draw him out of his quiet shell and engage him in a conversation this time? Baby Justin.

Here's the pictorial proof:

This has got to be one of my favourite photos of all time. I love the way Justin's looking at his grandfather with a hint of an adoring smile as he coos to the latter, and how my dad plays the role of a doting grandfather, touching Justin's face and focusing on him in a reciprocative manner. The conversation was rather loud, and it tickled the rest of the family to see it taking place. Hubby was at the scene too and wondered aloud what on earth the two were saying to each other. All that we heard was Justin going 'coo...ooo...ohh...' and my dad replying 'hmm...ahh...mmm...', as if he truly understood what his grandchild was telling him. A friend who saw this picture on my FB described it really well; he said that he loved how Justin was looking at my dad as well because it portrayed the 'connection across generations'. I totally agree.

Indeed, love has no defined language, for its power transcends the boundaries of understanding. In this instance, generation gap between two people, whose difference in age comprises several decades, doesn't exist at all. :)

May my baby boy remain as sweet as he made himself out to be that day and be a filial son and grandson in future.

Baby turns 3 months!

Often, at the end or beginning of a year, I'd marvel at how time passed by so quickly and wonder where on earth the year went and what exactly I'd accomplished during that period. Today, I look at my little boy who just turned 3 months and wonder to myself where those last few months went. I guess raising a kid and seeing him grow over time makes time seem to fly by even more quickly. In just a blink of an eye, the newborn whom you first got acquainted with at the hospital has grown much bigger in size and become a young baby who is now getting more adept at communicating his needs and even feelings with you, even though his only tools are cries, facial expressions and coos at this stage. He is also now more physically active, exercising his muscles and practising both his gross and fine motor skills. Honestly, it's amazing when you look back on the journey as a parent and realise just how far your baby has come in just a matter of months or even weeks.

According to the above book, which Hubby bought for us as a reference, the following are month-appropriate development milestones that Justin has reached thus far:

1. recognise face and smile in response
2. wave arms in excitement
3. make gurgling noises
4. track nearby objects with eyes
5. raise head and chest
6. support upper body with arms when placed lying on stomach
7. become more aware of hands and bring them to the mouth

#6 and #7 are more recent developments that Justin has demonstrated. He's still a little wobbly at #6, but I think with more practice, he should be able to become a little more steady. :) Once he hits 4 months of age, I should be able to expect the following:

1. better control of head and turn to explore surrounding due to increased curiosity

2. sit up with support

3. better control of hands and bring them together

4. use hands to reach for things more accurately

5. bring feet up and play with them when lying on back

6. roll over from stomach to back

Of course, from all the reading I've done, I understand that every baby is unique and may not reach the same milestones within the estimated time frame. But eventually, whether within the coming month or not, Justin will be able to do the above and many more thereafter, which makes me look forward to every day, in the event that I catch something new! My only grouse at this point is that I might not be able to make as many new observations as I've had so far once I return to work, but at least Hubby will be around when I'm not, and I might have wonderful tales to listen to when I get home.

But for now, happy 3 months, my boy! :)

PS. And to Hubby, happy 62nd wedding month! (Yep, 16's a special number in this family. ^_^)

I want that Prada!

You know you really do love something you come across during shopping when it's so hard to walk away from it. There's that mighty strong desire to own it, sometimes despite a hefty price tag that comes along with it. Only real discipline can prevent you from whipping out your wallet and becoming somewhat poorer than before.

I lurrve bags, as much as Hubby does watches. Hubby says that one can be tardily dressed and still look cool with a quality watch on his/her wrist. I think that I can be dressed in the plainest and least expensive clothes and all it would take is an It Bag to raise the level of sophistication several notches.

But it doesn't mean that I'm someone who burns tremendously large holes in her pockets just to get her hands on the stash that Prada, Gucci, LV, Burberry etc. have to offer. I don't belong to the camp where everyone tries to go for a particular brand or style in season. Neither am I a bag collector of any brand. I just like to purchase bags that I have the 'feel' for; it just so happens that occasionally, those bags belong to certain luxurious names. And when I do have my eye on such bags, I'd be much more tempted to get them only if they come with discounts.

Temptation came last week, in the form of this:

Image taken off http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/Bagsire

Hubby showed me the page that featured the black prada work bag above, which I thought would be perfect as an incentive for me to return to work in a few weeks' time. I mean, it is nowhere near being a substitution for my baby boy, but at least, with a nice bag for my work documents to travel in to and from work, my spirits might be lifted a tad. However, it took me a long time to decide whether to get it. After all, with a baby to raise, we do need to be more cautious with our spending. Besides, I'm not much of a spendthrift myself, so it'll take me quite a while before I get tempted enough to part with my bucks.

Nevertheless, the big 'T' won the battle. I usually get a new work bag once or twice each year anyway, and I figured if I got myself this Prada, it would probably last me quite some time. But before we could take any further action, we found ourselves staring at the words 'SOLD OUT' beneath the picture of the bag.

Since that day, I've been thinking of the bag. What's worse is that I can actually see myself using the bag. And having seen the beige one above, I think I like that one even more, though I'd still be happy with the black one. But now, since I only want to get the bag on discount and the Prada page is now closed, I can only stare wistfully at this picture while Hubby's words keep ringing in my ears: "See lah, if that time we just get the bag, you would have it now. Sometimes you can't think too much one...like then get, else end up with nothing then you feel so lousy..."

SIGH. My only consolation now is that I'm not $900++ poorer than before.

Great movies related to parenting.

Stories reflect life, and some films tell the best stories to make me reflect upon my own life.

Hubby and I are still stocking up on our DVDs. A few weeks ago, we even blew over a hundred bucks on just DVDs alone at one go while out shopping. My taste in movies hasn't changed; I'm still enjoying action-adventure, romantic comedies, perhaps a few horror films even (none of those very gory ones though -- my eyes simply stay glued-shut half the time, no matter how much others around might attempt to cajole me into opening them, which totally defeats the whole point of even watching them in the first place). Recently, however, I've begun to take interest in a new 'genre' of films.

These are the ones which revolve around the theme of parenting. I realise that when browsing through DVD racks in stores, I now pay a lot more attention to those DVD covers that show babies, families, diapers, milk bottles... ok, you get the idea. Basically now, as long as I spy a film that tells a story of parenting, especially those set in more modern times, I'm more than willing to bet that I'd want to watch it. I guess being a mum now makes me appreciate such stories much more than before, as I can relate pretty well to the ups and downs of being a parent, as well as what happens when people try to take care of a baby.

Anyway, two films that Hubby and I watched lately are "Motherhood" and "Life As We Know It". Great films! The former depicts a story of a day in the life of a terribly stressed-out mum of two who tries to successfully organise and host a birthday party for her little girl. Several challenges and new experiences await her. Amidst the absurd and sometimes hilarious situations she encounters, one can sense the mounting level of stress she suffers as she goes through the day. It captures the very real picture of how a stay-home mum has to multi-task to the max each day and how trapped she feels in her own little social world, regardless of how much she loves her children.

"Life As We Know It" also includes comic elements, but there's a certain sense of tragedy involved as well. Two singletons who simply cannot stand each other find themselves the appointed guardians of their suddenly-orphaned baby goddaughter. They then have to go through a whole series of plans and routines in order to cope with their new roles as caregivers, not to mention each other as well.

Both shows feature very real aspects of parenting life -- the difficulties and anxieties faced when caring for a baby, how couples have to work through issues together etc. Before Justin came into this world, I  did a lot of reading up on coping with a new baby and the various routines to consider for him. While the new knowledge helped to a certain extent, it did turn me into a bit of a stickler, always thinking how things had to be done so that everything could turn out ideal. In fact, I constantly stressed myself out thinking the worst whenever there appeared to be a problem with Justin. Why isn't he drinking enough? Is he drinking too much today? Why hasn't he started drinking more milk and at longer intervals? Why isn't he sleeping through the night yet? Why is he crying while feeding? Blah blah blah. That certainly didn't help much to alleviate the problems then and, over time, I came to realise that while it is understandable that I should worry as a new mum, I had to include space for some flexibility in the way I did things and also let go of certain idealistic plans.

Rearing a child is a lifetime commitment. This is only the beginning for me. New situations will certainly arise as and when. With them might come new stress and anxieties, but ultimately, we as parents have to deal with them in a way that suits our own baby best, regardless of what books or the Internet might say. In the end, guidelines are just guidelines. If we can follow them and they work, great. But if reality doesn't really match what is said, we just have to consider the next best option and work around the problem. Ultimately, whatever method we choose to use, the most important objective in our parenting roles would be to ensure that our child grows up happy and healthy. It's certainly a long road ahead, but with each experience, a new lesson is gained, and that should count towards some improvement...

A day...for mothers.

Have I already mentioned how happy I am to be mummy to my beloved baby boy? Despite having to deal with interrupted sleep, mini tantrums, piercingly loud wails, stress of breastfeeding or expressing milk and, in the previous months, the problem of gas-induced colic, all it takes is a sweet, sweet smile and tender look from my baby to make me feel on top of the world again. It's as my own mother has said before, being a mum means crying when your baby's crying, and smiling along with him when he breaks into a smile. It's all quite natural to anyone with a sense of maternal instinct.

This day, I celebrate the fact that I am finally one of those whom Mother's Day was created for. It's always been my dream to be a wife to a man I love, and mother to perhaps 2 or 3 adorable children. Yes, beneath my seemingly strong, career-driven exterior, I'm actually just a housewife who would be contented just to stay home to cook for her husband and play with her children. But alas, with the high costs of living and having children in this country, I have no choice but to succumb to being a working mum so as to provide more for my family. Nevertheless, the thought that I actually CAN provide a better life for my family by working helps make me feel better about returning to work. Not 'good', but at least 'better'!

Anyway, my very first Mother's Day celebration began with a happy mother's day greeting and kiss from Hubby some time around midnight. And then when morning came, I opened the bedroom door to find my baby boy bright-eyed as he always is in the morning, and comfortably seated in his red stroller, which was facing me. Hubby had positioned him there so that our baby would be the first thing I saw that morning. "Justin actually wanted to wish you a happy mother's day, but he didn't wanna disturb you in the bedroom, so he decided to just sit here quietly and wait for you to open the door," said Hubby. Awww. What a lovely tale to start my morning. :) And then, the rest of the day was spent going to my in-laws' place for lunch and then to my parents' place for dinner, as we wanted to celebrate the day with two other important mothers in our lives. Then my own celebration ended with us coming home and Hubby taking a picture of me cradling a sleepy Justin. I'd pestered him to take a shot of us just so that I would have a picture of myself as a mother on my first Mother's Day.

For our own mothers, Hubby and I had decided to place orders for cakes from The Ritz-Carlton, baked specially to commemorate the occasion but, more importantly, to raise funds for Operation Smile Singapore. We only had to pay a little extra to have the cakes delivered to our parents' doorstep.

The Valrhona Chocolate Banana Cake.

Absolutely yummy; not too banana-ish or sweet.

This year, instead of the usual jewellery or ornament, I'd decided to get my mum selected Chinese recipe books from the Chinese section at Kinokuniya. She cooks very often and likes learning about new dishes and their nutritional values etc, so I thought it'd be nice to get her a few comprising recipes that I know she would like to try. I also wrote her a note in Chinese (gosh, I haven't written Chinese characters in soooo long!), thanking her for all the years of cooking for me. It's a short note, but I must say it's the most mushy I've ever sounded to her. I was glad to see that she seemed delighted and interested in the books, and I'm sure she felt touched by my note as well. It felt really good making her feel happy.

All in all, this was a rather happy day for me. The only anti-climax was that I returned home with the sniffles, which I suspected was the onset of cold or flu. Let's hope it doesn't take too long for me to recover!

A day...of polling.

To tell the truth, I'm no fan of politics -- in my own country or anywhere else in the world. I do occasionally follow certain news covering some of the bigger issues and events, mainly out of curiosity or just to participate in coffee talk, but that's about as far as I would go. Heck, I can't even recite the names of all the ministers here!

This year, however, is slightly different. Ask me what happened during the previous GE and I'll simply shrug and say "I don't know. I don't care." But this year, although I am still no avid follower of GE 2011, I must say that my interest in the recent happenings in this arena has increased by a margin. What actually sparked off this mild increase in interest was a youtube video that Hubby showed me one day. In it, a certain 27-year-old dressed in white, who happens to love Kate Spade, running for candidature, stamps her feet in a mini tantrum when asked a question during an interview and says what has now become an infamous line: "I don't know what to say!" My goodness. And then, of course, there's this other pretty young thing who emerged as this Kate Spade fan's rival in this political contest. She caught my attention in the beginning for being confident and mature for her tender age but, unfortunately, over time, I simply grew tired of her solemn ways of speaking.

It's actually a good thing that there are such personalities in this year's GE. It all adds to the excitement and I believe having such fresh faces around makes the younger generations less apathetic. Just one look at my FB home section and you can see lots of comments about what's happening in this arena this year, even among the teens. In fact, I get quite a lot of updates reading other people's status and comments. The fact that my own constituency was contested also added to the interest.

But most importantly, this year's GE will always mean something to me because it's the first time I walked to a polling station to place my vote with 2 people very dear to me -- my hubby and my 11-week-old baby boy, Justin! Yes, though it was just a stroll to the void deck of a nearby block and then to the reservoir and around the neighbourhood following the voting, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's during such walks that I feel absolutely blessed to have my own little family whom I love so much. After all, it's a dream come true for me! :)

Because this year's GE has been quite full of hype, I can just imagine myself, years down the road, recounting to Justin what some characters once involved in local politics were like when he was a mere baby. Haha.

Ok, time to finally sleep. Perhaps I shall dream of my baby boy running for government with other babies tonight. Hmm...a party made up of drooling babies, wielding milk bottles and pacifiers, babbling their rally speeches? That should make a fun dream...

Introduction.

Hello, I'm a typical working mum in Singapore. Ok, technically speaking, I'm not working yet, but I will be in less than a month's time. Yes, I'm allowed four months of maternity leave, and my time at home attending to the needs of my firstborn, nurturing him and watching him grow day by day will end come late May, a day, in fact, before my own birthday (Yaay, Happy Birthday to me.) What an irony. Singaporean working mums are given four months of maternity leave when the World Health Organisation strongly advocates total breastfeeding for at least the first six months of a baby's life and, going by what the lactation consultants at my hospital of choice as well as all the breastfeeding pamphlets I received and the mummy's magazines I've read say, direct breastfeeding is the way to go. How on earth do we do that when those of us who have to work are required to return to work after just four months? And even if we do manage to express milk while at work, surely the level of work stress and inconvenience would affect the amount of nutritional milk we can pump to take home to our baby. I mean, there are those of us who are in jobs that force us to be constantly on the go, sometimes even leaving little time for a breather, much less time to lug our precious breast pumps to a private room, sit leisurely and express for 15 minutes. By the time you're done cleaning and washing up, plus storing your breastmilk, almost half an hour would have gone by. And considering how stress can affect the amount of breastmilk expressed, I think I'd count myself very lucky if I could still pump the usual amount of milk during those 15 minutes while forced to mentally keep track of the time and recall what task to focus on next upon returning to my workstation.

Oh, but I digress. Do not be mistaken. The whole point of me establishing this blog isn't to whine about how life can be so unfair to us working mums living in this competitive little red dot on the world map. In fact, I'd much rather my mum-oir contained happier entries although I know that, from time to time, there might be less than positive musings and recounts. After all, I AM more than happy to be a mother for the first time to my little baby boy. It's been challenging, hence the late start of this blog, but overall pretty satisfying thus far. Therefore, let's look forward to my next entry which, I hereby promise, shall be one that portrays more joy. :)